Yeah... this blog just kinda sits here, I know. This one and LJ. Hahaha. Bleh. I sketched some more Vigilante Pan stuff and last night I even sketched a page... we'll see if that goes anywhere today. :p

Just to get that other post off the top

I'm trying not to be depressed and all that jazz. That top post is killing me in that department, lol. So I'm bumping it down... I feel bad because I really do forget to post here though I know no one really reads it. Which is fine with me, I suppose, but it's always nice to point people to a place and have it actually be an updated kinda place, you know? Eh. I'll write a real entry later...

"Just Forget About It"

I didn't tell mom about the things that drunk man said on the bus today. I didn't tell her that he said he hated our race and that we were all stupid wetbacks. I didn't tell her that he used the fact that he was drunk to make what he said "okay".

I didn't tell her for two reasons. One, I didn't want to talk about it because I'm still upset. And two, because she'd probably tell me to just ignore those people or that's the way the world works or to just let it go, which is pretty much what everyone else would say anyway. And you know what, I KNOW that's how things go. I know those kinds of people are dumb and don't deserve my time and I know that I shouldn't dwell on it, yeah yeah. But that doesn't fucking make it better. That doesn't make what he said go away, it doesn't make the hate just disappear. Goddamnit, I wasn't even paying ATTENTION to the damn man until he started calling me names. What the fuck did I do to him? I didn't even DO anything. How can you say such things about people when you don't even know who the fuck they are? Because my eyes and skin are brown and my hair is black, suddenly I'm stupid? An idiot?

I CAN'T just "let it go" or just forget that it ever happened. Because you know what? It HURTS. Even though the things he said weren't true, that doesn't mean they don't hurt. That the hate behind them didn't hurt. And you know what, if you can take someone talking to you like that and just shake it off, fucking good for you. You are one blessed motherfucker because you don't have to feel like this.

I am still upset. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow but I am still just... I don't even know. I don't even know anymore. I'm crying even though I shouldn't be but I can't help it and damn it I wish I hadn't caught that bus. Then I wouldn't have been there and I wouldn't feel like crap now.

Yaaaaaay more coffee plz

My serigraphy prof was out sick today (his kid is really sick, and the prof has something of a cold) so I got to come home early. And it is BOOTY COLD UP IN MY HOUSE. Jeez. So I am making some coffee to warm up my hands and maybe the rest of me (though I doubt it...) and kinda just... sitting here. Slacking off.

Okay yeah I really should be doing my homework, I suppose. Then I could get the bulk of it out of the way so I can get to drawing or something productive like that. :p

But I have been watching evanescence music videos for the past few days (stfu I love Amy Lee) and damn it I don't know what it is about that band, but the music inspires me soooo much. The music and Amy's wardrobe. I love her crazy dresses. And her music videos are usually pretty awesome in my opinion, too. Like the one for Sweet Sacrifice:


Which I just freakin' LOVE for some reason. Maybe it's all the red. I don't know.

The music video for Good Enough is really pretty but... I guess it's just me, but I really don't understand it:


I... yeah I just don't get it lol.

Anyway... yeah. I'll update later when my fingers aren't so cold. :0

Oh noes

Yes, I changed the blog hahaha. Now it's kinda in-your-face with the background color... but I kinda like it. :D And the pic attached to this post.... is just a random "Evil Pan" pic I did last night, for shits and giggles. Hehehee.

So school starts on Monday... here's to a really, really long spring semester! w00! Yeah waking up at 5:30 is going to suck soooo bad... but hey, just one more year. One. More. Year. :0

I'm kind of in disbelief of the whole one-more-year thing. I mean, it doesn't feel like I've been at UT very long... and I'm still undecided as to what I want to do next. It's like, ah! I need more time! Jeez.

Anyway this semester I plan to draw more, even if it kills me. During class, on the bus (motion sickness here I come), right before bed... I'm going to do it, damn it. At least a sketch a day even if it's a dumb sketch.

Oh, I didn't talk about Christmas, did I? :0 I forgot which blog I wrote about it in. The girls joined us for the week before we all ran to the Valley for Tio's wedding. Man it was the awesomest week ever and I can't wait for the next time they come so we can go to gatti town and play video games and eat pizza and stuff. :D After Tio's wedding, we came back, like, right on Christmas Eve, and went to Mass and all that jazz. And Grandma came for Christmas! :3 I was so glad she came. I got an airbrush and compressor that I really really want to play with but I have to do it outside and it's too cold outside (my fingers get cold :[ ). I got other fun things too, like a Cap plushie from my sister and some glow in the dark jewelry from my brother and some other jewelry from my other sister and from mom and dad.... and Grandma bought me a heavy jacket. It's a biiiiig UT jacket and it's very warm and comfy and soft. :D

Aaaaand Boss gave me a nice Christmas bonus. :D Which was really good because it helped offset the cost of the 100 GB hard drive and the 1 gig of RAM I bought earlier in December to upgrade my computer. :D

And that's all. Mom's birthday is on Monday so I made her a pair of earrings... I went and bought real silver for them, too, so that she doesn't have to worry about having an allergic reaction or anything. So yeah.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to play WoW for a while. Because during the school year I don't get to play very much and it's very sad. :(

w00

Soooo it has been quite a while since I wrote anything... yeah. School's over. Got 3 B's and one A (in art because my prof liked me)... but oh well. Stupid mex-amer history.

I don't really have alot to say, but yeah. Christmas is almost here. This has been one of the most hectic Christmases ever and it's not even over damn it. Gyaaaah. But at least I got my Christmas shopping over early... before today's rush.

My hands are hurting (probably a reaction to the cold), so we'll see how I feel after the pain pills kick in, and maybe I'll draw something. :3

Wizard World Texas... (largely crossposted from devart)

... was fun. Eeeeeveryone recognized my brother as Cloud, even though he didn't have blonde hair because Wal-Mart was a whore and didn't have temp. spray on stuff. My "costume" wasn't complete :< but at least I got a Wonder Woman shirt out of the whole ordeal. And some shiny silver bangle bracelets.

Oooh I got to meet Hector Cantú and Carlos Castellanos - the guys who do the Baldo comic (it's in like... 200 newspaper nationwide, I believe. I don't remember the exact number, but I do know the Statesman prints it). It was so awesome because 1.) almost that entire row in artist alley was Hispanic artists, and 2.) they were BOTH there! Cantú lives here in Texas, but Castellanos lives in Florida... and they were both there and both signed my book! :3 <3 I love those comics. I got to pass by and pick up two more copies of El Gato Negro, too, but the artist wasn't there because he and his wife where on a retreat. But I got to talk to his brother. He was a real nice guy and put me on teh mailing list. I also got to meet the guy who does Yeni (did I spell that right?). He's on deviantart too so I was like AHA I RECOGNIZED THIS CHARACTER FROM SOMEWHERES!!!!

Artist Alley was smaller this year, though. :< And Jennie Breeden wasn't there. :< But there were more vendors, it seemed. AND AUSTIN BOOKS AND COMICS WAS THERE! LOL They did a double take when they saw me. XD Because I. Am. Eeeeeverywhere MUAJAJAJJAJAJJAJAAAAAAA!!!!

Oh yes. And I bought a kitty hat. So now I have a black hat with cat ears. >.> STFU I THINK IT'S CUTE. And I have two new posters (one of them is about as tall as I am :0 ) but nowhere to put them. :<

Seeing as I only went Saturday, I didn't get to see too many costumes. There were the token Star Wars peeps (:0 Darth Vadar AND TEH DARK SIDE OF TEH FORCE OH SHI) and two Ghostbusters (but one of them forgot his backpack thing :< ). There was also an army guy walking around but that wasn't a costume. >.> (He was kinda hott. Not that I was.... staring or anything. LOL)

AND THERE WERE TWO GREEN LANTERNS OH SHIT. And there was a couple dressed up as Batman and Batwoman and they had a kid and I was like BATMAN SPAWNED OH SHI. And there was another Gambit (eeeeh I didn't really get a good look at him), and a Rogue, and a Phoenix, and a Scarlet Witch, and a Wolverine, too. Yusssssss.

Yes, there was alot of me saying "OH SHI" at this convention.

And there was a mechanical bull.

Yes. And thus ends my report on Saturday at Wizard World Texas.

I'm really hoping no one reads this blog, because I always forget to update it. I'm so bad. It's just that I've been doing alot more stuff in art class and haven't done any finished pieces of non-art-class work. I have alot of doodles all over my notes and I guess I could scan that but... yeah. We'll see. We're supposed to leave for the valley sometime today so I might not get to use the scanner until... shit until the semester is over on Dec. 7th. But yeah.